Ain't No Sunshine When He's Gone...

I know I complain way too much about missing the Boy, so I will try to keep this short.

One of the great things about being home is spending time with my sister, and her fiance. I see my sister's fiance all the time (Thank goodness I get along with him really well). It is so nice to see them together and to see how much they care for one another. I love seeing my sister so happy! But it is also a bit bittersweet for me.

Seeing them together, I can't help but miss the Boy. Long distance is hard. We miss out on all the everyday things; sharing meals, watching movies, going out on dates. Knowing that he is sick and in pain right now, while I am here completely useless, seems so unfair. I wish I could be there to take care of him. Especially as we look forward to marriage, it is difficult to be satisfied with a phonecall every once in a while. I want to be with him, to see him everyday, to share a life together. This stage of being apart may be coming to an end, but some days it feels like an eternity away.

I am so glad he is coming to spend Christmas with me! Only 17 more days!!

A man and his bed...

My fiance is one of the most intelligent men I have ever met and he has the PhD to prove it. I totally respect him, but every once in a while he reminds me that he is after all, just a man. The most recent of these moments is as follows:

On one of our phone dates, we were talking more seriously about our future life together, specifically our future home. I suggested we look at furniture when I visit in Jan. The Boy explained that we wouldn't need to because many apartments in Scotland come furnished, and, if we decided on one that wasn't, he is planning on taking the furniture in his room.

Me: So you want to keep all of your old furniture
Him: Yes.
Me: Okay, well what about a bed?
Him: What do you mean?
Me: Even if the place comes with furniture, don't you think we should get our own bed?
Him: I already have a bed.
Me: Yeah, yeah.
Him: What? I've slept in my bed for years, it is a good bed.
Me: Yes, but you've slept in it alone. Where am I going to sleep?
Him: What do you mean? You'll sleep with me!
Me: Babe, you have a twin bed! Don't you think it would be good to get a bed that's bigger, for two people?

(I went on to explain that we were going to purchase a mattress that was big enough for us to both sleep on our backs at the same time- I am not about to spend the rest of my life trying to sleep in a crevice between the mattress and the wall.)

He seriously cracks me up. Life would be so dull without him.

Keep Your Eye on the Treadmill

Without a job, there is very little for me to do. For the first time in my life I have no obligations or responsibilities (though I could help out around the house more). Everyday I find myself searching for little projects to consume my time. Usually these projects consist of rearranging my room in some way, unfolding and refolding all my clothes, or cleaning out all the old products from under the bathroom sinks. Most recently I have given myself three projects- creating new Christmas stockings for myself and the Boy, cleaning the melted wax out of the 100 used candle holders my parent's bought for my sister's wedding, and revamping some of my old clothes.

While these projects are fun, they don't require that I leave the house. Staying at home all day leaves me feeling lazy. Since the Boy is 8 hours ahead, I often end up staying up until 2 or 3am to call him as he is starting his day. So in addition to feeling lazy, my sleep schedule is all messed up. Where I used to wake up at 6:30 am every day, I now wake up at 10am. Waking up so late just makes me feel even lazier. And feeling lazy inevitably makes me feel fat.

Today, I decided that I needed to get back onto a normal sleep schedule and to be more active. My father needed to leave the house early for a meeting, so I decided to take the opportunity to use the treadmill in my parent's room. I woke up early (7:30am, a normal time), and decided to jog to wake myself up. After dragging my weary self out of bed, I stretched and climbed on the treadmill. I started out with a brisk walk to warm up, then I punched up the speed and settled into a jog. The machine beeps to show your heart rate, and I found the beeping and whirring sounds quite soothing. As I settled into the pace, I must have relaxed a bit too much. I recall closing my eyes at one point, and the next thing I remember, I was on the floor.

Apparently you can fall asleep jogging, but you can't keep up the pace.

WARNING:
Do not close your eyes while treadmill is in use, especially when sleepy.

By the way, I ended up going back to bed, only this time with a fatty bruise on my hip. Maybe my sleep schedule isn't that bad...

Testing... 1...2...50?

A few weeks ago, I applied for a secretarial position. After they reviewed my application, I was invited to take a 2 hour test. Yes! (Apparently they screen very carefully for positions that requires high school diplomas, the ability to answer phones, and sort mail.) I can't imagine that I'll be offered the position, but I set up the appointment. I have nothing better to do. If nothing else I get the experience.

I assumed they would only bother testing a small number of candidates, but when I arrived, I was informed the testing needed to move rooms to accommodate all the testers. There were at least 10 women in my testing group, and there were 4 or 5 other testing groups! The proctor explained that testing was the first phase of eliminating candidates. They planned to interview all those with scores over 70%, and then go through a second interview process to pick their candidate. I was shocked that they would go through all this rigmarole- testing 50 candidates, interviewing, then interviewing again - it doesn't seem very efficient.

Being shocked probably just reveals more of my inexperience. I have to admit, applying for jobs has definitely shown me how naive I am about the world. The good news is, after this experience, I have gained a lot more insight into the hiring process.

Welcome to the real world!

Travel Plans

Now that the Boy is officially employed, we have begun negotiations to find a workable wedding date. In my experience planning a wedding is like practicing for diplomacy. There are so many things to consider: finances, traditions, his family, my family, his wishes, expectations, other people's weddings, etc... Instead of thinking of it as an obligation, I have decided to look at it as a problem-solving challenge. And I am determined to make it all work.

(Don't hold your breath.)

Much to my delight, the Boy suggested I fly back to Scotland with him in January. Now that I have booked my tickets (for not cheap but less than I was expecting), I can't wait. It will be great to have him here with my family for three weeks, but now I get to spend four more weeks with him! (Thank you, Elizabeth, for letting me invade your home once again- I can only hope that the improvement in your son's attitude while I am there is compensation enough.)

I will get to be with the Boy, even though he will have some work- I love that I'll be able to feed him and take care of him. Perhaps that sounds a little goofy, but I don't get to do those things for him very often, and I love it. My trip also means I will be able to spend time with his friends and family, which is especially handy now that we'll be living there.

Plus, we might be able to go apartment hunting! (Yes, I am way too excited about this possibility). I can't even explain how nice it would be to know what my future home will look like ahead of time.

News!

Praise the Lord! Finally, the wait is over! After months of waiting and uncertainty, the Boy has snagged an awesome job at a university in Glasgow. I am so proud of him, and so thankful that he is going to be able to keep doing what he loves. This job is perfect on so many levels:

1. The Pay- it is great! (We won't be scrapping for pennies, and we should be able to come visit the US every once in a while)

2. The Location- it means we can live in a city we are both familiar with, close to his family and friends. We can keep attending his church, and we can probably live without a car for a while.

3. The Job- it is a great position, that happens to be exactly what he wants to be doing. The Boy is thrilled about it, which is what matters most to me, and I can already tell they value him way more than where he is currently. Plus, he already knows some of the other faculty there, so he doesn't feel like the odd-man out.

4. The Timing- ask me more about this, but it is just so clearly an answer to prayer.

5. It means we can finally set a date to be married!!


There is, of course, one sad side to this. It means that we will officially be living in Scotland after we're married (something my family is a little disappointed to hear). I know it will be an adjustment, but the Lord will continue to provide. Plus, I love that I finally know our future location.

I am really excited at the thought of starting our life together. This last part is totally true, despite my response to the announcement. In my defense, I was sleeping when the Boy called, and I think, I thought I was dreaming or something. My brain couldn't comprehend the good news. It was only after the call, when I shared the news with others that the awesomeness of it hit me.

Emotional break downs

Lately things have been getting to me. This place of nothingness and waiting has turned me into an emotional wreck. It seems like I end up in tears at the drop of a hat. Most recently, I have been feeling like a burden (without a job all I do is take up space and demand attention). In my head, I know I will see the Boy in December, which is not too far off, but being apart is absolutely miserable. I have nothing to do all day, but think about him and miss him.

Maybe I am just hormonal, but I would certainly welcome my sanity back with open arms. The melodrama is getting a bit old.

I am so thankful the Boy is so understanding and patient, because I am sure I am not all that pleasant to talk to these days. No matter how down or pathetic I get, he listens and keeps reminding me to trust the Lord. He is really very sweet:

"You're not a lot of trouble. And even if you were, I wouldn't
care one hoot - and I would still be insanely in love with you."

If nothing else, my experience with this emotional drama, has made it clear exactly the sort of man I am going to marry- sweet, loving, patient, encouraging, the list goes on. I am very blessed to have found him, and I fully intend on keeping him. :-)

Bears and the inconvenience of hibernation...

The Boy has acquired some odd fascination with bears. He is coming to CA for the Holidays and, when I asked what he'd like to do, he insisted that he wants to see a live bear in the wild. I curse whoever put this idea in his head because I fear I'll never hear the end of it until I feed him to a bear. When I explained that bears hibernate in winter, he felt that was pretty inconvenient and suggested I simply wake them up. Alright, babe. I'll get right on that.

Now, I'm sure he just brings it up to annoy me. He finds it humorous to antagonize me and then he claims he is doing it out of love, to stimulate my mind (that is seriously a direct quote). Smart men are a pain in the rear. However, it is easy enough to ruin his little games if I simply agree with him or respond with questions:

The Boy- "Are we going to see a bear?"

Me- "What kind of bear do you want to see?"

This requires him to think to play along, and in the end he usually gets bored and changes the subject for me. He cracks me up.

I will end with Akin's assessment of the above:

A: Like a little kid- if you don't laugh at their fart jokes,

they get bored and decide to flush stuff down the toilet
instead.