Feeling Catty

Dealing with the direct loans people make me want to tear my hair out or beat my head against the wall. On the surface the whole system really doesn't seem that complicated- I need money for school, they loaned it to me, now I need to pay them back- All totally straight forward. So then why does the act of repaying them become so gosh darn convoluted?? And why can't they hire people for their help-line that are actually helpful?? Grr. At least they are giving me a lower interest rate for paying my bills on time and for signing up for direct debit. That .25% is something, I guess.

On a lighter note, I suddenly have an urge to read James Herriot stories... It could be because I found out he went to Vet school in Glasgow, or the fact that I was trying to think of some good books to read to children (a friend asked), but I think I am going to blame it on Akin, and the long stream Milo stories on her blog.

Now that I am reading this entry over, I am finding it rather boring. I can't think of anything interesting to write about these days.

...Maybe I should get a cat.

When I grow up...

It is already 2pm and I am still in my pajamas after spending the last several hours searching and applying for jobs. This whole process is so disillusioning. For the past year being out of work has eaten away at me. At first I had the wedding to plan, which was a welcome distraction, then moving to Scotland, but now that I am here and feeling the pressure to find work. We don't need the money, but I just can't justify to myself sitting around doing nothing.

I don't have any real career goals, but I really miss having something to be passionate about. Truthfully, I miss ministry. I miss serving the Lord, using the gifts He blessed me with and putting my energy into something that I know is significant and lasting. In the last few weeks I've put out dozens of job applications for positions that mean nothing more to me than a paycheck and an addition to my resume. Ambition is something that continually alludes me.

Some may see what I've just said as clear evidence that God has called me into ministry of some kind, but lately I have been questioning my motives. Do I want to do ministry because God has called me and I want to serve Him, or is it because this is where I'm most comfortable? Having grown up in church, it is too easy to be apart of churchianity, all the while ignoring the Holy Spirit.I want to do His will, not just what is easiest.

Anyway, it occurred to me today that I've been looking for work and filling out all these applications, but I haven't really stopped to pray about any of it. That is where I need to start.

Feeling fuzzy

This morning I received my first of what is bound to be many rejection letters. What a great way to start the day. I also finally caught up on laundry (thanks to my brother in law giving us his old dryer). I have never been so excited to do laundry before in my life. I can't tell you how nice is to fold dry fluffy clothes, instead of stiff cruchy clothes that it took two whole days hanging to dry. We also have a clean bathmat. Oh joy of joys!!

I think it must be the weather, which is steadily becoming cooler each day (I am SO going to need blankets and warm socks to get through the winter!), but this week I have really been wanting a small creature to keep me company. Even though we really don't need the hassle or expense, I miss have furry pets around. Ross claims this is all just because Sunday, a lady on the train had 3 black lab puppies, and he may be right. I've been dreaming about their little fuzzy faces ever since. Maybe one day...

Husband Mystery 2

The other day I hopped into the shower and waiting for me was an empty bottle of conditioner and a broken shard of mirror. You can imagine my confusion.

Now I happen to have the most finicky hair you can imagine. If it doesn't get it's daily dose of conditioner, it becomes impossible to manage, or even comb through. I know what you are thinking, "Jennie, your hair is so blonde and straight, how could it possibly be difficult to manage?!" Well, if you don't believe me, than you might believe Kelsey, the girl who cuts my hair, who frequently refers to my hair as a monster. The point is- I need my conditioner. My husband, on the other hand, has barely any hair and I can't imagine a scenario where using conditioner would even alter it's make up in any way.

As for the broken glass, I don't think I am alone in thinking that I'd like to keep all broken and sharp things away from me while I am in my most vulnerable and slippery state. Plus, I just couldn't figure out where it had come from. None of the mirrors in the flat were broken.

So I ask myself:
1.) How is it possibly that my husband uses more hair conditioner than I do when his hair is all of 1 inch long? And if he used up the whole bottle, why didn't he throw it away?

2.) Why on earth is there broken glass in our shower?!

Oh Me, Oh My, Oh Mess

This story is a couple days old, but I thought I'd share it anyway:

I started the day with a dozen chores on my list of things to do. Our flat was a mess and I wanted to have everything clean so I could have a special night with my man. But from start to finish the day just did not work out to plan.

First I managed to accidentally start the washing machine while the door wasn't properly latched, which sent water flooding over our kitchen floor. After like an hour mopping up the mess, I turned to the 3 days worth of dishes that had managed to pile up only to find that our hot water had gone out again. Frustrated, I left the mess of dishes and walked down to the shops, where I needed to get a headset for use with skype, and a few other items. While at Argos, despite checking the catalog number several times, I managed to order the wrong thing and had a long wait while they searched for the headset I'd actually meant to buy.

Then I spent quite a bit of time searching for things at the grocery store, because apparently cornmeal is called polenta here (who knew?) and they don't carry it in my local store anymore... Whatever.

By the time I got home it was already getting late, I hopped in the shower, swept the floors, starred at the mound of clothes waiting to be folded and decided to try tackling the dishes once more. Just as I start getting frustrated with the huge disgusting pile of dirty dishes and the lack of hot water to clean them, my husband walks in 2 hours early, with his mother in tow!!! The house is a mess, my hair is unkempt, I am half dressed and totally embarrassed by it all. So much for a nice date night!

After I show his mother out, I set my attention to dinner, which was supposed to be Thai green curry. Somewhere in my frazzled haze, I turned the heat all the way up, burning the pan of onions and then while opening the can of coconut milk I show how flung the coconut milk all over the kitchen...

Seriously ALL OVER. I had a couple cupboards and drawers open at the time, which meant the contents of our baking cupboard and silverware drawer were covered in a sticky mess. The counter top and floor were covered, and there was barely enough left in the can for dinner!

I have to say- I'm pretty good at making messes.

Entitlement

I was in such a bad mood a few minutes ago, for reasons that are totally ridiculous, but then I read this article and now I can't stop laughing. I love how stupid people can sue, and likely win money, for anything in the US. The land of freedom- where you can make your problems some one else's courtesy of your local claims court. haha


http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/08/03/new.york.jobless.graduate/index.html

All I have to say is that I am appalled that anyone would be inclined to give 'preferential treatment' to students who were the best in their class. Clearly this young woman is exceptional with her 2.7 GPA and feelings of entitlement. Who wouldn't want to hire her?!