Adjusting...

I'll get back to finishing the updates on the last several weeks soon. But while I had a free minute I wanted to write about my week.

The first few weeks here in Scotland have been a roller coaster of emotions. I absolutely love being married! My husband is amazing and I feel so blessed at how the Lord orchestrated everything so we could be together. There is nothing sweeter than getting to end my day snuggled up next to my husband, or being able to study God's Word together.

But I think I underestimated how hard this transition would be. There is just so much that I don't know about life here and I am constantly feeling like the only kid in the class who is totally clueless. It is the littlest things that just constantly remind me that I am not from here, and I have moments of wondering if I will ever feel at home again. Couple feeling lost with a total lack of community and you can probably see why some days are hard.

I almost feel a little guilty about relying on Ross for absolutely everything. He keeps telling me that he doesn't mind and to give myself time, but I hate that he has to make all these phone calls on my behalf when he is working and I'm not. I get so frustrated that it took me an hour starring at shelves to pick out proper cleaning supplies and several trips to the grocery store before I found yeast. While I know all this is normal, I still find myself fighting off feelings of incompetence and inadequacy.

This week it finally occurred to me why this time around is SO much harder than the other international moves I've made. In my other moves, I always had a sort of built in buffer- as a student I was surrounded by people just as lost looking for new friends, in Israel I had a team of people who were my built in support. This is the first time I've had to confront the cultural adjustments on my own. Trying to build relationships with people who already have established lives, families and jobs is much harder. Plus, I end up feeling rather alone in the process. Thank God for an understanding and patient husband! His encouragements have seriously kept me going some days.

But actually I started writing this post as an update on how good things are- This week I feel like I am finally starting to make some ground in meeting people. I tend to close myself off in new situations, but I am really trying to put myself out there a bit more. It seems to be working!

Saturday we went to a dinner party with some people from church. I was totally overwhelmed, but it was really sweet to be included and I now have a few more friendly faces in the mix. Yesterday I met a lady from church for tea. Our conversation was such an encouragement and I am looking forward to seeing her again. While we were chatting I met a couple more women who I now have a lunch date with on Thursday!

God is good and I am so thankful He has opened these doors for me. Today I feel confident and energized for the first time in weeks. Now on to conquer the job front!